Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Saturday, July 25, 2009
There's a little spanish super market
On Biscayne and 86th
and on any given morning
you would find a little girl holding her daddy's hand
watching mommy pick out vegetables
A few streets away from
Biscayne and 86th
In a little apartment
what now is a vacant lot
And at night
She sat on the floor of their room
Singing along to Queen
Deep down inside, as some people
She was meant for tragedies
Her tears would burn for sorrow
Her eyes would hold such stories
that are never to be retold
These lives were meant for tragedies
she later learned an important lesson
that its best to live passionately
to feel whole heartedly
and to fall tragically in love
than not at all
But on Biscayne and 86th
She's still that little girl in the super market
and on her parents floor
she sings along to Queen
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Monday, July 13, 2009
She was suddenly roused by the sound of the door-bell, and her spirits were a little fluttered by the idea of its being Colonel Fitzwilliam himself, who had once before called late in the evening, and might now come to inquire particularly after her. But this idea was soon banished, and her spirits were very differently affected, when, to her utter amazement, she saw Mr. Darcy walk into the room. In an hurried manner he immediately began an inquiry after her health, imputing his visit to a wish of hearing that she were better. She answered him with cold civility. He sat down for a few moments, and then getting up, walked about the room. Elizabeth was surprised, but said not a word. After a silence of several minutes, he came towards her in an agitated manner, and thus began:
"In vain I have struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you."
Wednesday, July 08, 2009
Sunday, July 05, 2009
write a song about me
tell of a story that has
write me a song
ill write you a novel
of a boy who was loved by a girl
but he couldnt see what was there
ill tell you how she suffered
how she cried
all for him
and how he'll never know
Write me a song and ill write you a poem
about a woman who forgot about the boy
who one day became a man
and how that man forgot about the girl
but thought of the woman
how years passed and both
without either knowing
thought about each other
and what could have happened
if things were different
If maybe in another world
there was another you _ another me
but it doesnt matter for this is not of us
Write me a song and in return ill sing you a song
about how one day this girl met a boy
and thought life would never be the same
and how he was right
and maybe at the end of the song
we'll finally realize
that girl was me
and that boy was you
who likes to play with me
but never stays with me
This boy he likes to sleep with me
begs to be with me
He doesn't tell anyone
what he has
it's just something he likes to give
He closes the door
over and over again
sometimes it's me and sometimes it's him
He's to afraid to admit defeat
to a life he thought he wanted
when i leave
He gets down on his knees
puts his face to the floor
and starts to pray
for an absolution that will never come
I know a girl
who likes to walk along the edge
says she waiting for her big break
says she's the best they've ever seen
and in the back
she shoots up to numb the pain
of a world she hates
she hides it well
for no one see's the decay in her eyes
nor the scars on her arms
Sometimes she sleeps at the house on the corner
or in an alley behind a church
selling herself to a man
who says he can get her to heaven
All she wants is an end
She hopes all the drugs, cuts, & the man
will someday do the job
she closes her eyes and prays for an absolution that will never come.
there's always a million and one thoughts
running at high speed
trying to form itself
that you'd understand
I try and imagine
your facial expressions
as I tell you
what i tell you
but my dreams
for that perfect
not an ending
but the beginning to the beginning
Sit and patiently wait
to hear it
I already know
how it ends
I skipped to the back
where i saw
that in your hands
lay a poor thing
and you could faintly hear its
dead heart beat
although theres so much to say
it's all been said before
it's all been felt before
but truth be told
someone else says it better
someone else feels it better
all I have to give are
dead heart beats
the lost echoes of our once
Book on the road
and continued on
Opened the book
Read the story
about a boy
who was lost
which way to go
to end up back
where he started
in the arms
of a lover
already dead inside
& had thought
this is it
She made a
and found a book
We live in the now of yesterday wishes
hoping with our eyes closed
that we dont force ourselves into a corner
crossing fingers, hoping to die
with child like promises
of sticking needles in our eyes
if we lie
there are no more tomorrows
we can't sit and wait
for the next blink
I wish I could have
because there will come
a wave of silence
- lola besott
Saturday, July 04, 2009
Thursday, July 02, 2009
For awhile I lost that bright eyed girl full of music, questions, hope and wonder.
The curiosity for life had gone.
I lost who I was in trying to become something I wasn't.
I've made mistakes. But I cherish each and every last one.
I love every tear for every heart ache and mistake I've made....and still have yet to make.
They have showed me who I am.
I am more me now than I have ever been.
And I have all of my mistakes to thank for it.
- lola besott
Wednesday, July 01, 2009
How do you measure the value of one's life? Is it by the things we aquire, who we love and who loves us back, how many people we help, or how far we get? What makes one person more loveable than the next? What makes you better than the person sitting next to you on the bus, or standing behind you in line?
When do you know it's enough? And is it ever enough? Is it possible that instead of making the right choice, you have made a mistake?
I think sometimes we forget, that we are only human. "To err is to be human." Sometimes you get that sinking feeling that maybe, "i'm doing something wrong. Maybe this isn't where i'm suppose to be. Am i saying the wrong things?" Or maybe your cocky and you think "I dont't make any mistakes or wrong choices."
But we are never alone, with regards to pain. Yes, we may go through different situations that may lead to different levels of pain. We all have different ways of dealing with it and different levels of dealing with dealing. (if you get what i'm saying)
And is it so hard to understand, that sometimes you just want to be alone. That it is possible for a person, to want to do things by themselves. Or that maybe at this moment we dont want that special someone. After all the pain, it takes a while to drain it out. To forget it, to forget them.
We know we have to, that regression is not welcoming. Especially when there was so much pain before, within the others hand. But it takes time. There are good days and there are bad days.
Sometimes we forget that we needed to forget. Memories don't even cross our mind. Then there are other days when all you can think about is then.
Does it make you a bad person? Does it make you weak?
How do you know when you've reached the point? That point where you can tell yourself and believe that "I am ok. I am happy. I am exactly where I want to be."
How does anyone know?
- lola besott
At some point in all our lives we deal with a cheating boyfriend/girlfriend or spouse. Maybe we have known someone who has been cheated on or has been the cheater. It's the age old question that plagues the mind. Why do people cheat? I knew a man who said his girlfriend was his best friend, but throughout their entire 2 year relationship he cheated on her. Why, not just leave her?
I know of several women and men who have cheated in past relationships. They were at that moment head over heels for their significant other. When I say head over heels I mean the "Hopelessly Devoted" by Olivia Newton-John kinda love. The love you see on the sidewalks and say "OMG get a room!" They say they're happy and utterly in love, but something happens as it always does.
So, why do we do it? Is it our basic primal instinct, is it genetic, or are we simply just bad people?
We were put on this earth to grow and multiply. In an article written by Robert Wright entitled "Devotion and betrayal, marriage and divorce: how evolution shaped human love" he talks about the premises of evolutionary psychology on cheating, it is as he says simple. It states that our ancestors needed to feel hungry to eat and live longer. With sex, feelings of lust were needed to help in reproduction. Because ultimately we were given this gift/burden(depends on your mood) of sex to reproduce and pass on our genes to our children and so on.
Cheating can then be viewed as an aide in reproducing. Be married to one person you put all of your eggs in one basket, and all of your chances for spreading your genes depends on that one person. For a woman it may be a basic instinct to protect herself and future young by always having a plan b, c or however many it may take. As women can only have one child per year, she has to be very picky on what kind of man is to be the father. Is he healthy, smart, strong, and wealthy? Why wealth, who better to provide you and your child with a home, food, and security.
But then what about love?
It could be a little of both, at least I think. There is an attachment, an attraction to someone you sleep with. We feel the need to express our feelings and sex happens to be the best one we come up with. If sex is suppose to be used to populate the earth, then why do we armor when a guy shoots? The key is to get pregnant isn't it? Cheating can get you guests that may never leave. STD's are rapidly spreading, we wear protection, we play russian roulette with our sex lives and ourselves.
Women define sex with love, and men define sex as being a physical need. If what the prior paragraph holds truth, than love came out of the need to have sex in order to reproduce.
Cheating lets us fulfill our soul purpose to evolve, to spread our genes and better the human genetic pool. Love is just an aide. It was and still is a competition, a race on who can get the best looking mate, and our emotions are the dice.
Wright, Robert. "Devotion and betrayal, marriage and divorce: how evolution shaped human love." TIME August 15, 1994
See i'm no mother, no preacher, no scholar. No, i'm just a girl with her own two feet, two hands, and one broken heart. Don't feel sorry for me. I don't. Yea it's broken, but i've learned my lesson. So I guess it's contradicting to tell you how not to have your heartbroken.
But if you're anything like me then you have to know...because you just have to.....
In my opinion 5 Easy Steps to Prevent Heartbreak:
-if you don't have one you can't break it.
2. Don't care.
-people who care about anything always get heartbroken. so FYI just dont give a shit. it works wonders.
3.Make no friends.
-dont talk to people unless they're in your way.
then by all means go ahead and quote that song and say
"HEY BITCH MOVE OUT THE WAY!"
4.Never Trust ANYONE!
-even if theyre telling you the stove is hot, or your pants are on fire. find out for yourself. if you are seeing someone (god bless you if you are) and they say they're sick in bed. go and make sure. cause you dont wanna be R. Kelly in the closet.
5.(and this is important and may be the hardest rule to follow)
DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE HAVE SEX! EVER AND I MEAN IT
-trust me this will save you A LOT of time and money
you wont have to get tested, or worry about calling, no wasting money on condoms, or birth control, or wondering how big of the slut the chik is, or crying later cause it was soooo bad you couldve done a better job with a number 2 pencil. If you do however feel the urge to stick it or be stuck......Dildo and Blow Up dolls, try it. let me know how it goes.
There is one that I didn't mention but I would think it goes without saying...
Don't fall. Fall in love, like or lust. Avoid the three L's. BY ALL MEANS NECESSARY.
What's the saying "It's better to love and lost than never to have loved at all." In other words BULLSHIT.
Who needs love or anything like it. Certainly not I AND certainly NOT you.
Trust me, you're not missing out on much.
Who cares about having:
- someone to hold you're hair back when you're puking,
- someone to hold you when you're scared
- someone to kiss for no reason at all but just to kiss
- someone to laugh with you
- someone to talk to about cheese and how much you love cheese
- someone to fight about who can kick whose ass in Nintendo Wii
- someone to talk to about hangnails, and the ingorwn hair on their leg
- someone to.....well you get the point.
In conclusion (this means this is the ending)
Be a loner. More like a robot, less like a human. Thank you and good night.
- lola besott
How does one mend a broken heart? They say love can heal a broken heart and stop the soul from crying.
Now if this love is so powerful, it seems that way to me,
wouldn't it be a great commodity.
If this love which people speak of
turns a fool into a wise man,
a weeping woman into a lover
then shouldn't someone bottle it up and sell it by the liter.
Yes ladies and gentlemen gather around gather around. No more long faces, no more lonely nights! See this right here what i hold in my hands why this is the things in which dreams are made of. That man you want doesnt think your pretty, that woman you desire has another man well now here is your answer... See this liquid in this beautiful glass bottle
Of course you cant its invisible! but trust me
Ladies and gentlemen when i tell you
All your dreams and wishes of a true love will come true when you drink this stuff right here
All your crying and heart ache will cease to exist.
Act now and get the first sample for only $9.99!
- lola besott
I'm sitting here waiting for the man to bring my car around. Listening to a woman pour her heart out in a song. And all I can do is think of ____
There was an old man sitting next to me. And he told me I remined him of someone he knew. He said "I once loved someone but I let her go." As my car pulled up and I walked away he started to cry and said one last thing
"Never let it happen to you"
-but it's to late
The other morning as I walked into a gas station for my morning tea, there was this little girl crying. She ran to me and asked had I seen it "Did you see it?" She lost it and now it's gone. And as I payed for my cup of tea and walked away she yelled to me:
"Why did it happen to me? Wasn't I good? Never let it happen to you!"
you know that
"You can never stop life from going where it wants. Love is always there for you to find, but you gotta know how to hold on to it. Never hesitate. Don't wait til it's to late."
-but it's to late
i've already lost you
- lola besott
and wondered how much can you fit in it
before it breaks
it's a puzzle
packaging objects in such a way
so they dont break
writing fragile on the side
so others know
boxing things up
like the chambers in our hearts
theyre just tiny boxes
in which we store things
our own personal little tetris game
of trying to figure out which things to put where
and how much can we fit into these chambers
til it breaks
and everything comes rushing out
what do you do with the pieces then
how do you know what gets left out
what can you leave behind?
What do you mark fragile?
- lola besott
"You do what you love, and fuck the rest."
Dwayne, Little Miss Sunshine
"Love is a serious mental disease."
"You live and learn. At any rate, you live."
"Life is pain. Anyone who says differently is selling something."
The Princess Bride
"Does it mean this, does it mean that, that's all anybody wants to know. Fuck them, darling. I say what any decent poet would say if you dared ask him to analyze his work: If you see it, dear, then it's there"
“Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want.”
"Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved."
"Music produces a kind of pleasure which human nature cannot do without"
"Journeys end in lovers meeting, Every wise man's son doth know."
“Lovers and madmen have such seething brains, such shaping fantasies, that apprehend more than cool reason ever comprehends.”
“The public have an insatiable curiosity to know everything, except what is worth knowing” Oscar Wilde
“Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?” “That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,” said the Cat. “I don’t much care where-” said Alice. “Then it doesn’t matter which way you go,” said the Cat. “-so long as I get SOMEWHERE,” Alice added as an explanation. “Oh, you’re sure to do that,” said the Cat, “if you only walk long enough.”Lewis Carrol
i miss new york.
the libraries, the gardens, the museums
how they run in and out
and up from underneath
oh how i miss new york
i took this photo at the brooklyn botanic gardens
it had started to rain when i got there
but that didnt stop me from walking the grounds
it actually felt very lovely
walking in the garden under a lite drizzel
- lola besott