He's So Unusual - Helen Kane

"..& i gotta have some lovin'. he says please stop it please. he's so unusual"

Biscayne and 86th

There's a little spanish super market
On Biscayne and 86th
and on any given morning
you would find a little girl holding her daddy's hand
watching mommy pick out vegetables

A few streets away from
Biscayne and 86th
In a little apartment
what now is a vacant lot
They lived
And at night
She sat on the floor of their room
Singing along to Queen

Ridiculousy hopeful
Abnoxiously happy
Ignorantly bissfull

She knew
Deep down inside, as some people
Just Know
She was meant for tragedies
Her tears would burn for sorrow
Her eyes would hold such stories
that are never to be retold

She knew
I knew
These lives were meant for tragedies

she later learned an important lesson
that its best to live passionately
to feel whole heartedly
and to fall tragically in love
than not at all

But on Biscayne and 86th
She's still that little girl in the super market
and on her parents floor
she sings along to Queen

-lola besott

pavement hope

amor de calaveras

in life we are granted a few simple pleasures

and the best ones are never easy to attain

they come in various forms

the most elusive of them all is

each other

we hold on by the tips of our fingers

to our lovers, companions, compadres, mothers,

fathers, brothers at arms...

it is a difficult task to endure

but it is one we take on without any hesitation

there is pleasure from the pain that comes

from loving each other

and a pain that comes from holding on too tightly

in dreams we are frightened by the reality we refuse to accept

if it is so difficult to hold on to the smallest of loves in life

how or what do we hold on to when their life ends

there is an obsession we have with

calaveras, esqueletos, y cosas de muertos

hay una obsesión que tenemos con

skulls, skeletons, and things to do with death

we dig into their flesh

til our nails fall off

til theres no more blood to be bled

til our fingerprints become freckles

on their skin

it is a love of death in life

and a life of love in death

our obsession becomes a comfort

and a small way to pay homage

to love lost

in life or death

its un amor de calaveras

a love of skulls

-lola besott

"Good opinion once lost, is lost forever."

She was suddenly roused by the sound of the door-bell, and her spirits were a little fluttered by the idea of its being Colonel Fitzwilliam himself, who had once before called late in the evening, and might now come to inquire particularly after her. But this idea was soon banished, and her spirits were very differently affected, when, to her utter amazement, she saw Mr. Darcy walk into the room. In an hurried manner he immediately began an inquiry after her health, imputing his visit to a wish of hearing that she were better. She answered him with cold civility. He sat down for a few moments, and then getting up, walked about the room. Elizabeth was surprised, but said not a word. After a silence of several minutes, he came towards her in an agitated manner, and thus began:
"In vain I have struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you."

Poe

"Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night." 
 Edgar Allan Poe 

Dia De Los Muertos

i <3 <3 <3 Sylvia Ji!!!

Junior Boys "Parallel Lines"

girl/boy

write a song about me
tell of a story that has
no ending
no beginning
write me a song
and
ill write you a novel
of a boy who was loved by a girl
but he couldnt see what was there
ill tell you how she suffered
how she cried
and bled
all for him
and how he'll never know
Write me a song and ill write you a poem
about a woman who forgot about the boy
who one day became a man
and how that man forgot about the girl
but thought of the woman
how years passed and both
without either knowing
thought about each other
and what could have happened
if things were different
If maybe in another world
there was another you _ another me
but it doesnt matter for this is not of us
Write me a song and in return ill sing you a song
about how one day this girl met a boy
and thought life would never be the same
and how he was right
and maybe at the end of the song
we'll finally realize
that girl was me
and that boy was you

-lola besott

Absolution

I know this boy
who likes to play with me
but never stays with me

This boy he likes to sleep with me
begs to be with me

He doesn't tell anyone
what he has
it's just something he likes to give

He closes the door
over and over again
sometimes it's me and sometimes it's him

He's to afraid to admit defeat
to a life he thought he wanted

&

when i leave
He gets down on his knees
puts his face to the floor
and starts to pray
for an absolution that will never come

I know a girl
who likes to walk along the edge
says she waiting for her big break
says she's the best they've ever seen

and in the back
she shoots up to numb the pain
of a world she hates

she hides it well
for no one see's the decay in her eyes
nor the scars on her arms

Sometimes she sleeps at the house on the corner
or in an alley behind a church
selling herself to a man
who says he can get her to heaven

All she wants is an end
&
She hopes all the drugs, cuts, & the man
will someday do the job

she closes her eyes and prays for an absolution that will never come.

-lola besott

dead heart beats

there's always a million and one thoughts
running at high speed
trying to form itself
into words
that you'd understand

I try and imagine
your facial expressions
as I tell you
what i tell you
but my dreams
won't satisfy
my hunger
for that perfect
happy ending

not an ending
but the beginning to the beginning
the prologue

Sit and patiently wait
to hear it
I already know
how it ends

I skipped to the back
where i saw

that in your hands
lay a poor thing
and you could faintly hear its

dead heart beat

although theres so much to say
it's all been said before
it's all been felt before
but truth be told
for you
someone else says it better
someone else feels it better
and it's
not me
not me
all I have to give are
dead heart beats

the lost echoes of our once
promised love

-lola besott

u-turns

Driving home
Book on the road
U-turn made
picked up
and continued on
Opened the book
Read the story
about a boy
who was lost
and confuesd
didnt know
which way to go
Ran away
to end up back
where he started
in the arms
of a lover
who was
already dead inside
& had thought
this is it
She made a
U turn
and found a book


-lola besott

yesterday wishes

We live in the now of yesterday wishes
hoping with our eyes closed
that we dont force ourselves into a corner
crossing fingers, hoping to die
with child like promises
of sticking needles in our eyes
if we lie
there are no more tomorrows
we can't sit and wait
for the next blink
no more
I wish I could have
would ave
because there will come
a wave of silence
and then
______________________


- lola besott

The Noisettes cover of 'When You Were Young'

<3

slow realizations and my mistakes

For awhile I lost that bright eyed girl full of music, questions, hope and wonder.
The curiosity for life had gone.

I lost who I was in trying to become something I wasn't.

I've made mistakes.  But I cherish each and every last one.

I love every tear for every heart ache and mistake I've made....and still have yet to make.
They have showed me who I am.

I am more me now than I have ever been.

And I have all of my mistakes to thank for it.


- lola besott

It's all false love and affection

Florence and the Machine

ok it's official i'm obsessed

Better to be hated than love, love, loved for what you're not





::sigh:: she's not available in the US itunes yet!

key west butterfly and nature conservatory

m a c photography is my own photographs
lil' hobby of mine trying to pick up again

Alphonse Mucha <3

one day

i'm going to pay for my curiousity
for my short lived spats of hopelessly
romanticizing the situation
i'm gonna end up like the little oysters...

to measure

How do you measure the value of one's life? Is it by the things we aquire, who we love and who loves us back, how many people we help, or how far we get? What makes one person more loveable than the next? What makes you better than the person sitting next to you on the bus, or standing behind you in line?

When do you know it's enough? And is it ever enough? Is it possible that instead of making the right choice, you have made a mistake?

I think sometimes we forget, that we are only human. "To err is to be human." Sometimes you get that sinking feeling that maybe, "i'm doing something wrong. Maybe this isn't where i'm suppose to be. Am i saying the wrong things?" Or maybe your cocky and you think "I dont't make any mistakes or wrong choices."

We pass by numerous people, never really thinking or hearing what they say. Each individual holds their problems in higher regards than anyone else. We say "You don't understand", or "You've never felt like this". When in reality, we don't know how they feel or if they've been through worse.

But we are never alone, with regards to pain. Yes, we may go through different situations that may lead to different levels of pain. We all have different ways of dealing with it and different levels of dealing with dealing. (if you get what i'm saying)

And is it so hard to understand, that sometimes you just want to be alone. That it is possible for a person, to want to do things by themselves. Or that maybe at this moment we dont want that special someone. After all the pain, it takes a while to drain it out. To forget it, to forget them.

We know we have to, that regression is not welcoming. Especially when there was so much pain before, within the others hand. But it takes time. There are good days and there are bad days.

Sometimes we forget that we needed to forget. Memories don't even cross our mind. Then there are other days when all you can think about is then.

Does it make you a bad person? Does it make you weak?

How do you know when you've reached the point? That point where you can tell yourself and believe that "I am ok. I am happy. I am exactly where I want to be."

How does anyone know?



- lola besott

an old short essay

The Cheating /Infidelity Gene

At some point in all our lives we deal with a cheating boyfriend/girlfriend or spouse. Maybe we have known someone who has been cheated on or has been the cheater. It's the age old question that plagues the mind. Why do people cheat? I knew a man who said his girlfriend was his best friend, but throughout their entire 2 year relationship he cheated on her. Why, not just leave her?

I know of several women and men who have cheated in past relationships. They were at that moment head over heels for their significant other. When I say head over heels I mean the "Hopelessly Devoted" by Olivia Newton-John kinda love. The love you see on the sidewalks and say "OMG get a room!" They say they're happy and utterly in love, but something happens as it always does.

So, why do we do it? Is it our basic primal instinct, is it genetic, or are we simply just bad people?

We were put on this earth to grow and multiply. In an article written by Robert Wright entitled "Devotion and betrayal, marriage and divorce: how evolution shaped human love" he talks about the premises of evolutionary psychology on cheating, it is as he says simple. It states that our ancestors needed to feel hungry to eat and live longer. With sex, feelings of lust were needed to help in reproduction. Because ultimately we were given this gift/burden(depends on your mood) of sex to reproduce and pass on our genes to our children and so on.

Cheating can then be viewed as an aide in reproducing. Be married to one person you put all of your eggs in one basket, and all of your chances for spreading your genes depends on that one person. For a woman it may be a basic instinct to protect herself and future young by always having a plan b, c or however many it may take. As women can only have one child per year, she has to be very picky on what kind of man is to be the father. Is he healthy, smart, strong, and wealthy? Why wealth, who better to provide you and your child with a home, food, and security.

But then what about love?

It could be a little of both, at least I think. There is an attachment, an attraction to someone you sleep with. We feel the need to express our feelings and sex happens to be the best one we come up with. If sex is suppose to be used to populate the earth, then why do we armor when a guy shoots? The key is to get pregnant isn't it? Cheating can get you guests that may never leave. STD's are rapidly spreading, we wear protection, we play russian roulette with our sex lives and ourselves.

Women define sex with love, and men define sex as being a physical need. If what the prior paragraph holds truth, than love came out of the need to have sex in order to reproduce.

Cheating lets us fulfill our soul purpose to evolve, to spread our genes and better the human genetic pool. Love is just an aide. It was and still is a competition, a race on who can get the best looking mate, and our emotions are the dice.

1.
Wright, Robert. "Devotion and betrayal, marriage and divorce: how evolution shaped human love." TIME August 15, 1994

5 Easy Steps To Prevent Heartbreak

No one ever tells you the secrets to life. The only thing you're given to succeed is a little bit of knowledge, a good luck and a swift kick in the butt forward. Well here is my advice to you, son. It may not be very accurate, shit it may not even be great advice. But it's the advice i've got to give and that's gotta be good for something.

See i'm no mother, no preacher, no scholar. No, i'm just a girl with her own two feet, two hands, and one broken heart. Don't feel sorry for me. I don't. Yea it's broken, but i've learned my lesson. So I guess it's contradicting to tell you how not to have your heartbroken.

But if you're anything like me then you have to know...because you just have to.....

In my opinion 5 Easy Steps to Prevent Heartbreak:

1. Don't own a heart.
-if you don't have one you can't break it.
2. Don't care.
-people who care about anything always get heartbroken. so FYI just dont give a shit. it works wonders.
3.Make no friends.
-dont talk to people unless they're in your way.
then by all means go ahead and quote that song and say
"HEY BITCH MOVE OUT THE WAY!"
4.Never Trust ANYONE!
-even if theyre telling you the stove is hot, or your pants are on fire. find out for yourself. if you are seeing someone (god bless you if you are) and they say they're sick in bed. go and make sure. cause you dont wanna be R. Kelly in the closet.
5.(and this is important and may be the hardest rule to follow)
DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE HAVE SEX! EVER AND I MEAN IT
-trust me this will save you A LOT of time and money
you wont have to get tested, or worry about calling, no wasting money on condoms, or birth control, or wondering how big of the slut the chik is, or crying later cause it was soooo bad you couldve done a better job with a number 2 pencil. If you do however feel the urge to stick it or be stuck......Dildo and Blow Up dolls, try it. let me know how it goes.

There is one that I didn't mention but I would think it goes without saying...

Don't fall. Fall in love, like or lust. Avoid the three L's. BY ALL MEANS NECESSARY.

What's the saying "It's better to love and lost than never to have loved at all." In other words BULLSHIT.

Who needs love or anything like it. Certainly not I AND certainly NOT you.

Trust me, you're not missing out on much.
Who cares about having:
- someone to hold you're hair back when you're puking,
- someone to hold you when you're scared
- someone to kiss for no reason at all but just to kiss
- someone to laugh with you
- someone to talk to about cheese and how much you love cheese
- someone to fight about who can kick whose ass in Nintendo Wii
- someone to talk to about hangnails, and the ingorwn hair on their leg
- someone to.....well you get the point.

In conclusion (this means this is the ending)
Be a loner. More like a robot, less like a human. Thank you and good night.


- lola besott

THE SIMPLICITY OF THE EQUATION

How does one mend a broken heart? They say love can heal a broken heart and stop the soul from crying.
Now if this love is so powerful, it seems that way to me,
wouldn't it be a great commodity.

If this love which people speak of
turns a fool into a wise man,
a weeping woman into a lover
then shouldn't someone bottle it up and sell it by the liter.

Yes ladies and gentlemen gather around gather around. No more long faces, no more lonely nights! See this right here what i hold in my hands why this is the things in which dreams are made of. That man you want doesnt think your pretty, that woman you desire has another man well now here is your answer... See this liquid in this beautiful glass bottle
Of course you cant its invisible! but trust me
Ladies and gentlemen when i tell you
All your dreams and wishes of a true love will come true when you drink this stuff right here
All your crying and heart ache will cease to exist.

Act now and get the first sample for only $9.99!

- lola besott

Late Advice

Late Advice

I'm sitting here waiting for the man to bring my car around. Listening to a woman pour her heart out in a song. And all I can do is think of ____
There was an old man sitting next to me. And he told me I remined him of someone he knew. He said "I once loved someone but I let her go." As my car pulled up and I walked away he started to cry and said one last thing
"Never let it happen to you"

-but it's to late
for that
isn't it

The other morning as I walked into a gas station for my morning tea, there was this little girl crying. She ran to me and asked had I seen it "Did you see it?" She lost it and now it's gone. And as I payed for my cup of tea and walked away she yelled to me:
"Why did it happen to me? Wasn't I good? Never let it happen to you!"

-but it's to late
for that
you know that

Last night as I sat down in my room I started to undress. I got a phone call from an old friend. Who told me how their heart had been beaten. And love doesn't exist. To learn how to use before you've been used. And as we said our goodbyes right before I hung up. I said one last thing to her:
"You can never stop life from going where it wants. Love is always there for you to find, but you gotta know how to hold on to it. Never hesitate. Don't wait til it's to late."

-but it's to late
for me
because
i've already lost you

- lola besott

cardboard boxes

cardboard boxes

have you ever looked at a cardboard box
and wondered how much can you fit in it
before it breaks
it's a puzzle
packaging objects in such a way
so they dont break
writing fragile on the side
so others know
simple idea
boxing things up
like the chambers in our hearts
theyre just tiny boxes
in which we store things
our own personal little tetris game
of trying to figure out which things to put where
and how much can we fit into these chambers
til it breaks
and everything comes rushing out
what do you do with the pieces then
how do you know what gets left out
what can you leave behind?
and
What do you mark fragile?


- lola besott

these are a few of my favorite quotes

"You do what you love, and fuck the rest."
Dwayne, Little Miss Sunshine

"Love is a serious mental disease."
Plato

"You live and learn. At any rate, you live."
Douglas Adams

"Life is pain. Anyone who says differently is selling something."
The Princess Bride

"Does it mean this, does it mean that, that's all anybody wants to know. Fuck them, darling. I say what any decent poet would say if you dared ask him to analyze his work: If you see it, dear, then it's there"
Freddie Mercury

“Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want.”
Randy Pausch

"Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved."
Helen Keller

"Music produces a kind of pleasure which human nature cannot do without"
Confucius

"Journeys end in lovers meeting, Every wise man's son doth know."
William Shakespeare

“Lovers and madmen have such seething brains, such shaping fantasies, that apprehend more than cool reason ever comprehends.”
William Shakespeare

“The public have an insatiable curiosity to know everything, except what is worth knowing” Oscar Wilde

“Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?” “That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,” said the Cat. “I don’t much care where-” said Alice. “Then it doesn’t matter which way you go,” said the Cat. “-so long as I get SOMEWHERE,” Alice added as an explanation. “Oh, you’re sure to do that,” said the Cat, “if you only walk long enough.”Lewis Carrol

missing ny

i miss new york.
the libraries, the gardens, the museums
the people
how they run in and out
and up from underneath
oh how i miss new york


i took this photo at the brooklyn botanic gardens
it had started to rain when i got there
but that didnt stop me from walking the grounds
it actually felt very lovely
walking in the garden under a lite drizzel


- lola besott